dear secret admirer:

'have you had your time off today,
to have a cup of tea and smile away?'


dear secret admirer,

Be strong, okay :)
Everything's gonna be just fine...
If you just believe,
and I know that you believe..

dear secret admirer,
You're such a lucky person,
to have someone who can make you laugh (or try to, at least..)

When I hear your voice again, I want to hear your smile :)

sad song..

~Fate

I dont really know love
I didnt know it would come to me like this
My heart doesnt act like it wants to in front of my love

If I knew I was going to be like this,
I wouldn't have started in the first place
Like a fool, I am regretting this late

I wished that you wouldnt be my love
I wished that it wouldnt be you
You deceited me, telling me that its not love

I hoped that it would be a passing by fate
Because painful wounds will be left on me
But even when I know this, I am still greedy
It keeps getting me sad

I thought that it was a wrong start
I thought so easily
I believed that I could always call you

What should I do?
Where did it go wrong?
I need to avoid this love
But I yearn for everything about you

I wished that you wouldnt be my love
I wished that it wouldnt be you
You deceited me, telling me that its not love

I hoped that it would be a passing by fate
Because painful wounds will be left on me
But even when I know this, I am still greedy
It keeps getting me sad

Now if its not you, there is no meaning to anything
I can't contain myself anymore
The fact that I have to erase you
Today again,

It makes it even more hard..


***

Aii..
Painful!
☆⌒(＞。≪)Ouch



note:
It's one of Full House soundtracks, which I listen to so often lately.
Why do I feel that someone should sing this song for me..?

For me?
^ ^0 ahaha...

Poor little Rou... ~(=^. .^) ヾ(^^ ) *diddums*

go! traveling around!

This year's resolution: go traveling!

Nad responded this by excitedly persuading me to go to a sunflower field. Maybe what the moon saw inspired her. The funny thing is, we haven't known where the field exactly is ^ ^0

Imagine taking a walk on a bright summer day. Wearing jeans. When the sky's as blue as the sea. Wherever you see, you see sunflowers. Shades of yellow and green, dancing slowly in the wind.

Picture vanilla ice cream. Friends, laughing. And the faint sound of the train from afar...

I can't wait, I can't wait!! o(^^o)(o^^)o

And it was funny, too, what Dina said when I told her I got bored of wanting to go to a place but until now, I haven't been there.

"Well, don't think. Just go! The most important thing is that you've stepped your feet there, right?"

That's what she said. So it doesn't matter if I get lost or suffer from hunger or have to sleep in the park or unable to come back home, as long as I make it to that place.

Zany/beautiful. As she always is.
^ ^0...

the copy machine

We’ve got a photocopier \(^ ^)/ !!
Everybody’s delighted with it, because now we don’t have to go to 12th floor to copy mails, documents, etc. It makes life easier. A lot easier.

But it also means no taking a walk around anymore, which was always helpful when I got so bored with my room :)…
Everything always have its bright and dark sides. Maybe that’s what makes everything balanced and harmonious.

I once saw a picture of a mangaka’s house, with the bedroom, and the office. She’d got her own fax and photocopier—which amazed me that day. I always think that it is just great to have your own copy machine at home. But I guess, a mangaka does need the copy machine (^ ^ it reminds me of a funny story Nadya wrote in her journal, about her little brother).

Since today I get extremely bored with everything (even seeing him only made me got more melancholic), I’m gonna pretend that I am a mangaka or a writer who has a copy machine in her office, which is in her own house >:)

Such a weird thought ^ ^;
I always find such way to run away from reality. Because it bites ^ ^p

Japanese Smiley

Nadya asked me to teach her more Japanese smileys since little does she know about them. Really, Nadya? I think you're only being humble ^ ^

I myself only know some. But there's this nice website where you can find lots of cute Japanese smileys. And here's the other, which is more simple.

Well, hope it helps.

Annyeong hikyeshipseyo.. (^_^)/~~

Dream, North Point

in the middle of the night, a dream woke me up
it was not very good dream, maybe it's my nightmare
when I started my day, it still stuck in my head
and that thing ruined my day, made my head spin around

but why should I believe my dream would come true?
and I don't have any reason to believe
that all of my dreams will come true.

--Dream, Mocca

It was half sweet dream, half nightmare. And it was a sad one, making me feel bad when I got up, cursing aloud.

-_-0
Even in my dream, why you never stop being so selfish?

The lyrics above really fitted with the condition of my mind this morning.
But when I--by a good chance--met him and know that he was just fine, I felt relieved ^_^

Why should I believe that my dream would come true?


Btw, Nina finally bought Laskar Pelangi. So glad to know that she did. It proves that I can be very persuasive sometimes ^ ^

And I found Banana Yoshimoto's journal!

So simple, with a picture on every page.
And now I'm dying to read her other stories (though NP is rather terrifying for me--it's about suicide and it's dark--I always love her Kitchen).

And I found this on the FAQ section:

Q. Many depressive things are happening today. How do you think we should live at this time?

A. The only thing that we should have in mind is not to use our time to fear. And we should prepare some specific countermeasures to some extent. There is nobody who has no fear about the future. Thus we should do what we can do now, instead of just worrying about the future in vain. That's what I truly think. One other thing we should do is to look for some friends with similar sensitivity.

Interesting :)

If you want to read the journal or just wonder who Banana Yoshimoto is and why I always talk about her and admire her so, do visit www.yoshimotobanana.com

Much more later,

Ciao :)

a perfect 'birthday'

Thanks to Friendster, few days ago I received some birthday greetings. It was kinda funny because it wasn't even my birthday ^ ^ But it was nice, knowing that people cared about you. Finally Friendster did me some good. Well, it's about time, actually, considering how many times it broke my heart in the past ^_^

If it had been my birthday, how wonderful it would've been. Because that day, I left my office hurrily and some half an hour later, found myself in the middle of Jalan M.H. Thamrin, soaking wet and extremely confused about how I was going to go home. Because it was raining hard, and there was a problem with my bus (and I was kicked out of it :( ), and not to mention this traffic jam...

Well, I finally decided to buy a ticket of Trans Jakarta and had to wait for quite long time before the bus arrived. That was when I found that someone in front of me prayed. Yes, he prayed.

An image of a girl wearing blue veil came across my mind. A sight of her praying while outside the room rain pouring down heavily. My bestfriend in college used to pray when it rained heavily. Because it's one of the times when our prayers are most heard..

So I bowed my head and prayed, too.
For I have a lot of dreams that I wish would come true ^ ^
*who doesn't, anyway?*

Finally, the bus came.
And as I stood there, feeling so cold, I looked out the window and wondered, why everything always looks so beautiful and romantic from behind Trans Jakarta's windows.