wrong impression?

Baru saja membaca blognya Nadya. Sepertinya dia menjalani hari-hari dan kehidupan yang sangaat menyenangkan. Ada teman-teman yang bisa dikunjungi, membeli kaktus, mencicip-cicip es krim, berangkat kerja naik sepeda… Kapan ya aku bisa menikmati kehidupan yang manis seperti itu? *lagi-lagi terserang sindrom aku-benci-tinggal-di-kota-besar* Ah, sudahlah.

Anywaaay… Kadang-kadang membaca blog orang-orang membuat kita terbawa jadi sedih. Mungkin tulisanku juga membuat orang sedih, entahlah. Tapi blog Nadya selalu membuatku semangat untuk menjalani hidup. Bukankah sejak dulu ia memang dikaruniai kemampuan untuk itu? Membuat orang merasa hidup ini penuh tantangan, dan membuat mereka mau menempuhinya.

Bulan ini aku mulai belajar bahasa baru. Aaarghh!! Ini membuatku stress. Membuatku jerawatan!! Tapi ada juga sih, saat-saat di mana aku merasa keren karena (paling tidak) aku melakukan sesuatu, seperti Arai. Mungkin inspirasi itulah yang membuatku mau bertahan melalui setiap kata yang tulisan dan pengucapannya berbeda jauh itu. Aku nggak pernah menemui kesulitan seperti ini saat belajar bahasa sebelumnya…
Ah, aku harus berhenti mengeluh.

OH MY GOODNESS!!
Baru saja aku membuka halaman kedua dari blognya Nadya dan KYAAA!!! Aku langsung histeris! Bagaimana tidak!! Ini yang ditulisnya:

o m g ...
he will be here on my birthday!
here, in this city, in this office, perhaps in this room...
he ... andrea hirata!
o
m
g
is this real?

Duuh, jadi pengin pulang…
Oh, the same old brand new me. Still so impulsive!!
Dan aku berlari ke koridor di dekat tangga, menelepon Nadya di sana. Karena di ruanganku ada tamu yang menunggu atasanku kembali dari meeting. Nggak mungkin kan, aku mengobrol dengan Nad tentang Laskar Pelangi di depan bapak-bapak ini.

Nadya pernah berjanji untuk mengirimkan tiga buku Andrea Hirata untukku. Dan dia bertanya, “Nanti di bukunya mau dikasih tulisan apa?”
Jawabku, “Pokoknya yang ada Arai-nya!”

Waktu itu, di ujung koridor ada Yunus dan Febri. Dan sepertinya aku sudah memberikan impresi yang salah… (Koridor di dekat tangga adalah tempat kau menelepon seseorang yang spesial dan kau tak ingin orang di ruanganmu tahu apa yang kalian bicarakan). Tentu saja, dalam hal Nadya itu spesial dan aku tak ingin orang di ruanganku (maksudku, kedua tamu itu) tahu apa yang kami bicarakan, ini benar. Tapi kan spesialnya dalam arti berbeda. Aku jadi sedikit sedih, sampai kapan ya aku harus berjuang menghadapi hal-hal seperti ini? Mungkin bagus kalau ditulis menjadi cerita.

Tapi kenapa aku begitu risau? Aku kan nggak melakukan apapun yang salah, Allah tahu itu. Oh ya, mencuri-curi waktu kerja untuk menelepon membahas tentang Andrea Hirata mungkin memang salah… Atau nggak, kalau aku sedang tidak ada pekerjaan? Mudah-mudahan saja ini nggak akan membawaku pada hal yang sedih lagi. Aku takut banget hal seperti dulu terjadi lagi…

Aku sedih… (Meskipun aku senang dengan adanya prospek mendapatkan buku yang ditandatangani Andrea =)…)

Hari-hari terakhir Ramadhan...

Rabbana,
Hari ini hatiku terasa penuh. Penuh dengan rasa syukur atas hari-hari yang telah lewat, detik-detik yang membekaliku dengan pelajaran-pelajaran berarti sebagai bekal langkahku yang (jika Kau izinkan) masih panjang..

Rabbana,
Mungkin Ramadhan kali ini bukan Ramadhan terbaikku. Mungkin aku belum mengupayakan segala yang kubisa. Masih banyak pula waktu yang berlalu tanpa arti. Masih banyak kesempatan terlewat saat kubiarkan rasa malas mengalahkanku. Masih banyak kenikmatan yang seharusnya kusyukuri namun kuabaikan. Maaf...

Tapi Ya Rabbi,
Terima kasih atas skenario terindah yang telah Kautulis untukku.
Terima kasih telah memberiku kesempatan untuk belajar menata hati dan perasaan. Meski pembelajaranku belumlah sempurna.
Terima kasih karena telah menghadirkan mereka yang menguatkan hatiku, menjadi teladan bagiku, dan memberiku impian-impian baru untuk diraih.

Terima kasih telah memberiku alasan untuk bertahan, dan kembali hidup.
Saat ini aku merasa bagaikan tunas kecil yang menyembul dari tanah yang merekah, penuh kehidupan, merasa silau oleh sinar matahari yang hangat dan terpukau oleh sejuknya embun. Aku ingin hidup, bertumbuh, menjadi tinggi dan mekar seindah-indahnya. Aku ingin melihat dunia...

Segala puji bagimu Ya Allah...

Laskar Pelangi: Smile!!

Hari Kamis, maghrib-maghrib Nina sms.
Bee, lu kudu nonton K!ck Andy ntar! Bout Laskar Pelangi!! Ada Andrea Hirata! Trus ada anak-anak Laskar Pelangi (sekarang). Jam 22.30.

Aku langsung sms Ambu, Dee (yang sangat Andreanis sekali ^ ^), dan Dian, Caro, Nad, Dina, Kay, Akbar, Ery, Nur… (Singkatnya mereka yang berpotensi untuk diajak menjadi Andreanist pula…).

Sekitar jam sepuluh, handphone-ku berbunyi. Kay.
“Bee! Bukan jam setengah sebelas! Sekarang! Untung aku lagi nonton Metro… bla bla bla…”
Hihi, padahal waktu itu di tempat Kay sudah jam dua belasan. Kali ini insomnianya Kay berguna ^ ^

Sms anak-anak lagi, deh ^ ^0

Jreng jreeng…
Terus mulai, deh, acaranya. Beberapa orang menceritakan pengalamannya, bagaimana Laskar Pelangi menginspirasi mereka untuk bertahan melewati masa-masa sulit. Tapi mana ya, Andrea Hiratanya?

Aaa, finally dia muncul!!
Waah, tapi kenapa hair style-nya jadi aneh begitu??
Ikaal.. kamu apakan rambutmu??
Mestinya belah tengah a la Tony Kuswoyo yang direkomendasikan Arai jauh lebih oke…!!

Diskusinya nggak sedalam ‘Bagaimana Jika Laskar Pelangi Difilmkan.’ Ringan. Mungkin karena sasarannya adalah khalayak ramai, dengan tujuan membuat mereka tertarik untuk membaca Laskar Pelangi. Kalau diskusi yang dulu kan pesertanya Andreanis semua. Makanya aku nggak ngerti sama sekali, mereka ini ngomongin apa ^ ^0 (waktu itu kan belum baca LP…)

Ada foto-foto Laskar Pelangi. Wawancara dengan para tokohnya sekarang. Ada Mahar, Samson, A Kiong… Hihi, kok jadi ingat Band of Brothers, ya ^ ^
Lalu, a surprise for Andrea, Ibu Muslimah tiba-tiba muncul… (Oleh-olehnya apa, coba? Kalung buah Aren, hwahahaha…)

Bagusnya, kali ini aku ngerti apa yang dibicarakan dan bisa ketawa-ketawa waktu Andrea ditanya, “Anda kan orang Belitung, kenapa namanya Andrea Hirata?” (Jawab Andrea, “Saya sudah ganti nama tujuh kali…” ^ ^0) Yang belum bisa ketawa baca ini, baca Edensor, ya *persuasif mode: ON*

***

The sweetest part of it, adalah sms Nadya sehari setelahnya.

Thanks Bonnie, untung kamu kasih tahu jadi aku isa nonton kemaren…

Dan sms Nadya lagi beberapa jam setelah itu:
Bon, aku ga tahu harus bilang apa. 22 Oktober ’07 aku mulai dipekerjakan di sebagai asisten editor di Bentang Pustaka, penerbitnya Laskar Pelangi.
Bon, aku nggak tahu harus bilang apa

Kya! Kyaa!! Nadya keren sekali!!
Ternyata, siangnya dia diwawancara, dan salah satu pertanyaannya adalah..
Mas Heri: “Tadi malam nonton?”
Nadya nan polos: “Nonton apa?”
Mas Heri: “Kick Andy.”
Nadya: “Nonton..”

Dan begitulah.

Aku langsung sms anak-anak lagi, ngasih tahu kabar baik ini dan bilang makasih buat infonya. Kay nan humble berkata, “Don’t thank me, I did nothing..” Nina dan Caro bilang, “I can’t stop smiling, Rou…”

It’s amazing, bagaimana hal-hal saling berkaitan seperti ini. A miracle. Dan sangat menyenangkan, ternyata, membuat orang lain tersenyum…

dear secret admirer:

'have you had your time off today,
to have a cup of tea and smile away?'


dear secret admirer,

Be strong, okay :)
Everything's gonna be just fine...
If you just believe,
and I know that you believe..

dear secret admirer,
You're such a lucky person,
to have someone who can make you laugh (or try to, at least..)

When I hear your voice again, I want to hear your smile :)

sad song..

~Fate

I dont really know love
I didnt know it would come to me like this
My heart doesnt act like it wants to in front of my love

If I knew I was going to be like this,
I wouldn't have started in the first place
Like a fool, I am regretting this late

I wished that you wouldnt be my love
I wished that it wouldnt be you
You deceited me, telling me that its not love

I hoped that it would be a passing by fate
Because painful wounds will be left on me
But even when I know this, I am still greedy
It keeps getting me sad

I thought that it was a wrong start
I thought so easily
I believed that I could always call you

What should I do?
Where did it go wrong?
I need to avoid this love
But I yearn for everything about you

I wished that you wouldnt be my love
I wished that it wouldnt be you
You deceited me, telling me that its not love

I hoped that it would be a passing by fate
Because painful wounds will be left on me
But even when I know this, I am still greedy
It keeps getting me sad

Now if its not you, there is no meaning to anything
I can't contain myself anymore
The fact that I have to erase you
Today again,

It makes it even more hard..


***

Aii..
Painful!
☆⌒(＞。≪)Ouch



note:
It's one of Full House soundtracks, which I listen to so often lately.
Why do I feel that someone should sing this song for me..?

For me?
^ ^0 ahaha...

Poor little Rou... ~(=^. .^) ヾ(^^ ) *diddums*

go! traveling around!

This year's resolution: go traveling!

Nad responded this by excitedly persuading me to go to a sunflower field. Maybe what the moon saw inspired her. The funny thing is, we haven't known where the field exactly is ^ ^0

Imagine taking a walk on a bright summer day. Wearing jeans. When the sky's as blue as the sea. Wherever you see, you see sunflowers. Shades of yellow and green, dancing slowly in the wind.

Picture vanilla ice cream. Friends, laughing. And the faint sound of the train from afar...

I can't wait, I can't wait!! o(^^o)(o^^)o

And it was funny, too, what Dina said when I told her I got bored of wanting to go to a place but until now, I haven't been there.

"Well, don't think. Just go! The most important thing is that you've stepped your feet there, right?"

That's what she said. So it doesn't matter if I get lost or suffer from hunger or have to sleep in the park or unable to come back home, as long as I make it to that place.

Zany/beautiful. As she always is.
^ ^0...

the copy machine

We’ve got a photocopier \(^ ^)/ !!
Everybody’s delighted with it, because now we don’t have to go to 12th floor to copy mails, documents, etc. It makes life easier. A lot easier.

But it also means no taking a walk around anymore, which was always helpful when I got so bored with my room :)…
Everything always have its bright and dark sides. Maybe that’s what makes everything balanced and harmonious.

I once saw a picture of a mangaka’s house, with the bedroom, and the office. She’d got her own fax and photocopier—which amazed me that day. I always think that it is just great to have your own copy machine at home. But I guess, a mangaka does need the copy machine (^ ^ it reminds me of a funny story Nadya wrote in her journal, about her little brother).

Since today I get extremely bored with everything (even seeing him only made me got more melancholic), I’m gonna pretend that I am a mangaka or a writer who has a copy machine in her office, which is in her own house >:)

Such a weird thought ^ ^;
I always find such way to run away from reality. Because it bites ^ ^p

Japanese Smiley

Nadya asked me to teach her more Japanese smileys since little does she know about them. Really, Nadya? I think you're only being humble ^ ^

I myself only know some. But there's this nice website where you can find lots of cute Japanese smileys. And here's the other, which is more simple.

Well, hope it helps.

Annyeong hikyeshipseyo.. (^_^)/~~

Dream, North Point

in the middle of the night, a dream woke me up
it was not very good dream, maybe it's my nightmare
when I started my day, it still stuck in my head
and that thing ruined my day, made my head spin around

but why should I believe my dream would come true?
and I don't have any reason to believe
that all of my dreams will come true.

--Dream, Mocca

It was half sweet dream, half nightmare. And it was a sad one, making me feel bad when I got up, cursing aloud.

-_-0
Even in my dream, why you never stop being so selfish?

The lyrics above really fitted with the condition of my mind this morning.
But when I--by a good chance--met him and know that he was just fine, I felt relieved ^_^

Why should I believe that my dream would come true?


Btw, Nina finally bought Laskar Pelangi. So glad to know that she did. It proves that I can be very persuasive sometimes ^ ^

And I found Banana Yoshimoto's journal!

So simple, with a picture on every page.
And now I'm dying to read her other stories (though NP is rather terrifying for me--it's about suicide and it's dark--I always love her Kitchen).

And I found this on the FAQ section:

Q. Many depressive things are happening today. How do you think we should live at this time?

A. The only thing that we should have in mind is not to use our time to fear. And we should prepare some specific countermeasures to some extent. There is nobody who has no fear about the future. Thus we should do what we can do now, instead of just worrying about the future in vain. That's what I truly think. One other thing we should do is to look for some friends with similar sensitivity.

Interesting :)

If you want to read the journal or just wonder who Banana Yoshimoto is and why I always talk about her and admire her so, do visit www.yoshimotobanana.com

Much more later,

Ciao :)

a perfect 'birthday'

Thanks to Friendster, few days ago I received some birthday greetings. It was kinda funny because it wasn't even my birthday ^ ^ But it was nice, knowing that people cared about you. Finally Friendster did me some good. Well, it's about time, actually, considering how many times it broke my heart in the past ^_^

If it had been my birthday, how wonderful it would've been. Because that day, I left my office hurrily and some half an hour later, found myself in the middle of Jalan M.H. Thamrin, soaking wet and extremely confused about how I was going to go home. Because it was raining hard, and there was a problem with my bus (and I was kicked out of it :( ), and not to mention this traffic jam...

Well, I finally decided to buy a ticket of Trans Jakarta and had to wait for quite long time before the bus arrived. That was when I found that someone in front of me prayed. Yes, he prayed.

An image of a girl wearing blue veil came across my mind. A sight of her praying while outside the room rain pouring down heavily. My bestfriend in college used to pray when it rained heavily. Because it's one of the times when our prayers are most heard..

So I bowed my head and prayed, too.
For I have a lot of dreams that I wish would come true ^ ^
*who doesn't, anyway?*

Finally, the bus came.
And as I stood there, feeling so cold, I looked out the window and wondered, why everything always looks so beautiful and romantic from behind Trans Jakarta's windows.